Vanessa Lynn Miller | Fashion | Spring Feels

MARCH 29TH 2018

SPRING FEELS

StyleWe Collaboration

FASHION

Powassan ON, CANADA

Spring is right around the corner! Although technically the first day of spring was March 20th, I am beyond excited for sunlight, melting snow, flowers in bloom, and of course, spring fashion!

- But, seeing that we're not quite there yet (weather-wise), I brought the camera inside this week (in collaboration with StyleWe) to bring you a shoot that's bright and fresh with a burst of pink!

I've worked with StyleWe seven times now and still, they never fail to impress with their unique and beautiful selection of fashion forward pieces. I'll be styling two outfits - this week and next - both of which are the perfect precursor to spring fashion.

Nothing says "staple piece" like a neutral sweater. Versatile and chic, they can be worn a hundred different ways and are easily paired with anything from leggings to a skirt. We all have those days where we feel like we "have nothing to wear!" On such days I almost always reach for a neutral top so this sweater has been getting a lot of mileage lately.

While it may look super basic from the front, this ribbed, beige, long-sleeve is anything but. A side slit cut-out makes this top asymmetrical and interesting as it's held together by a silver ring and long ties which can be fashioned into a bow for extra feminine appeal.

Last week I mentioned that I was going to talk a bit about something that I've been dealing with for almost three years now. I've been hesitant to share this struggle publicly, partly because I was embarrassed and also because it's a bit of a downer. I like to uplift and encourage people with my writing and the last thing I wanted to do was sound like a whiner. Before I get into it I just want to say that I realize in comparison to a lot of other struggles that people are going through my situation is a walk in the park. That being said, this is something that has absolutely devastated me over that past three years and I know that, like the countless other women struggling with this condition will attest, it's a psychological nightmare.

I have been struggling with CTE (chronic telogen effluvium), which is evenly distributed hair loss and diffuse thinning spread out across the whole scalp. As a result of this chronic condition, over the past three years I've lost well over fifty percent of my hair's original volume.

"No matter how long the winter, SPRING is sure to follow."

- Proverb

For those of you who are shocked or don't believe me when I say I'm going through acute hair loss it's probably because I've been very resourceful and skilled at hiding it. For my blog posts, (with the exception of my last two posts since I've cut my hair), I've worn extensions to disguise just how thin my hair has gotten. As someone who used to have a very full, healthy head of hair this is a very strange experience and I'm just now realizing how much I took my hair for granted.

Needless to say it's been nothing short of devastating.

Unfortunately, CTE hasn't been thoroughly studied or understood by the scientific community and causes are nearly impossible to pin-point and diagnose. Not only that there is NO CURE. As a result the sufferer can feel frustrated and hopeless as there's no real solution to the problem.

I've been to naturopaths, dermatologists, I've done a ton of research online, participated in online forums, spent a fair amount of money on special shampoos and vitamins - basically explored every possible avenue to try and cure this condition. When it first began I was disturbed but assumed that it would right itself withing three to six months as my research had indicated. But then three months turned to six, and then six turned to nine and then I realized that my telogen effluvium was chronic (CTE) and apparently can last for up to fifteen years. (A dermatologist confirmed this diagnosis)

Imaginably there's been anger, frustration, tears, break-downs, mild depression - let's just say I've experienced the full range of emotions in dealing with this issue. I know it sounds awful, and truth be told it really has been - BUT - I've learned so much from my experience with this condition and it continues to teach me things about myself as I go about navigating the highs and lows of losing my hair. What I hold on to now is the hope that not unlike the winter, this season will also eventually come to an end.

At the end of the day I just have to remind myself that "It's just hair." My worth shouldn't be tied up in my outward appearance and while it's easy to say things like that it's a whole lot tougher when you're confronted with the issue every single day.

Although my hair continues to fall, my self-worth is becoming more grounded in who I am and how I treat others rather than my physical appearance.

At this point I've come to terms with the fact that this is my situation and I just have to make the best of it. Yes I still have really bad days but they're getting to be fewer and farther between. I'm trying to channel all of my negative feelings into building my character and becoming a stronger, more resilient woman. Maybe I'll end up having to cut all of my hair off, I really don't know if or when my hair is going to come back... but I'll be darned if I let it get the best of me. I still believe that happiness is a choice and attitude is everything!

If you're going through the same thing I am, I hope this helps inspire you to keep moving forward. With a condition like this it really helps to talk with someone who's been through the same thing, so know that whoever you are I'd be more than happy to lend my support. As always you can email me @ vanessa_miller@live.ca, get in touch with me through the comments section below, or DM me through my Instagram account.

We're all struggling with something whether our problems are big or small, health related or otherwise. Find someone you trust to share your struggles with and do your best to stay positive! Sending thoughts of love and encouragement!

xo.