VANESSA LYNN MILLER

2016 Vanessa Lynn Miller

FEBRUARY 9TH 2018

ALL ABOUT EVE

FASHION

Cayo Coco, CUBA.

Lush foliage, epic sand dunes, and crystal clear turquoise horizons are all backdrops featured in this week's fashion post! If you ever get the chance to visit, do so! as Cuba really is breath taking!

 

While drinking in the stunning natural beauty of this island, the wind tugging at my hair, the hot sun beating down on my face, and the faint taste of salt in the air, I couldn't help but think of how Eve must have felt in the Garden of Eden.

Thoughts of freedom, happiness, and harmony with nature are all probably fairly accurate assumptions to make, which is also how I felt standing atop the sandy cliffs.

I think we all crave that 'free' feeling of "not having a care in the world," being happy with who we are and the choices we make. In Eve'e case that care-free feeling was short-lived, however in our own lives as we grow up, we need to be careful that we don't lose that freedom along the way. 

Since my first Cuba blog post I feel like my writing has morphed into a journal of personal growth. I've been very candid about sharing some of the important lessons I've been implementing in my own life in the hopes of perhaps enabling others to do the same. Well here's another one for you!

Ever since I can remember I've been someone who "likes to be liked."

Now I think we can all agree that this is a very common tendency that the majority of people possess - human nature if you will. That being said, this tendency has the potential to become problematic when too much value or emphasis is placed on the opinions of others and the worry of how they perceive us. 

The fear of what other's think can become downright debilitating and eventually trap us in a prison that is almost impossible to escape. This is one of the many ways you can lose that child-like freedom I touched on earlier.

When you care too much about what others think of you it can affect every single area of your life right down to something as silly as how you choose to wear your hair! As the iconic STAR WARS one-liner states "It's a trap!"

Never allow yourself to be defined by someone else's opinion of you! It's a very bad place to be and if you let it dwell in your mind long enough, you could even end up believing and eventually accepting the negatives that other people surmise.

 

This is why I believe it's essential to learn how to be OKAY if someone doesn't like you or has something bad to say about you. As long as you're living a life that emulates the values of love, kindness, honesty, and compassion - or in other words a good life - the opinions of others should mean nothing to you.

** this of course is excluding the well informed opinions and caring criticism of those who know you well and truly have your best interest at heart **

BEAUTY QUOTE:

"The greatest PRISON people live in

is the FEAR OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK."

- David Icke

Indifference to the ill-informed opinions and biases of those who have no significance in your life is VITAL to living a healthy, happy, and successful life.

Life is full of difficult people so realistically the only way to avoid criticism entirely is, in the words of Aristotle, "to do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing." With the knowledge of this inevitability, doesn't it make sense to learn how to effectively deal with something that is headed your way?

Here are a few tidbits that have helped me overcome the fear of what other people think:

IT ISN'T PERSONAL. 

People will choose to either like or dislike you, treat you well or treat you poorly, but at the end of the day none of it really has anything to do with you. Usually when someone targets you it's because of an insecurity of their own; perhaps you have something that they wish they had be it physical, material, or emotional attributes. I've learned that when someone feels the need to spread negativity about another person, it's a huge indicator of how they think and feel about themselves. The way people treat others is always a mirror for how they treat themselves.

Therefore at the end of the day it really isn't personal; in fact it's not really about you at all! While the knee-jerk reaction is to take mean comments or gossip personally, fight it. 

Not taking things personally is one of the easiest ways to keep yourself in line emotionally and thereby keep you from saying or doing something you might regret. How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours. All of this boils down to one essential piece of information:

The only thing you can control in life is yourself.

WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

Given the above information, when people treat you in a negative way it's really more about them and their business than yours. When a person is so internally disturbed that they need to lash out at those around them, why would you even want to react or get involved with such a person. Minding your own business is the safest and most effective way to distance yourself emotionally and maintain the "it's not personal" mindset. 

My personal rule used to be to "mind my own business" UNLESS it involved me. My new standard is EVEN IF it is about me who cares? What other people think of me is none of my business and it shouldn't concern me one iota. Tell yourself that enough and it becomes so ingrained in your thinking that your chances for a drama-free life increase ten fold!

LIFE IS SHORT. 

Do you really want to look back on your life only to realize that you wasted it letting foolish, insecure, or just downright mean-spirited people hold you back? None of us know how much time we have on this earth. What a shame it would be to waste such a precious gift worrying about things that don't even matter. 

In light of this fact try your very best to be honest, kind, and caring. Follow your dreams, face your fears, and never allow the opinion of others sway who you are or how you act. This is your life to live and you only get one crack at it so make the most of it today!

xo

Remember FASHION IS AFFORDABLE!

 

Outfit Total: $21

DRESS:
Value Village $14
(brand unknown)
EARRINGS:
Claire's $7